On education.

Oh, the frustration.

I'm currently attempting to write a paper for my philosophy class, in which I am supposed to explain "what aquinas thinks we can know about god's creation, and how created things, especially human beings, are related to or tend towards god." This is not as easy as it might sound. Procrastination has left me in a situation of utter unpreparedness for such an assignment, so I'm sitting here staring, like the proverbial deer, at the passages in the Aquinas book, trying to glean some sort of spark that might get me going. But no matter how hard I stare blankly, I can't seem to figure out WHAT in the hell I should be discussing. Essentially, I have no idea where to start. This semester has found me utterly incapable of focusing on my studies, the source of said incapability primarily stemming from my complete lack of any sort of caring.

Basically, I have this little problem. I enjoy studying about religion and philosophy, and some other things, but I can never get into the groove of the whole "school" aspect of it. You know, the assignments, the studying, the timetable, etc. I just can't get my brain into school mode. I've had this problem since I can remember, with every subject, no matter how tantalizing. I think I'm one of those people who is just not built for school. Education, to me, should be a course of exploration and self-discovery, rooted in whatever path one chooses to take in life. Structure and time constraints and such things inhibit the learning process for me, and take a great deal away from whatever knowledge I might acquire in whatever class. If I had someone, likely some kindly older individual possessing a great deal of knowledge on a variety of subjects, suggest to me a plethora of books to read on various religions and philosophers and history etc etc, I would jump on them. This would then be followed by in-depth discussion on a far more personal scale than 20-200 people per instructor, resulting in a far greater understanding of the subject material. Accompanying this would be visits to a variety of appropriate locations, whether those be museums, libraries, or foreign countries.

What I'm talking about is the uninhibited, life-long devotion to the study of a particular subject, without a curriculum, grades, time limits, politics, and individuals lacking in any degree of depth (see: the average student who is in school solely to acquire a slip of paper that says they completed the coursework set down at a particular institute of learning). The educational system isn't so much a system of education as it is a mass-production facility, one which produces valuable statistics with which to compete with other nations in the ever-ending battle of "yeah well my citizen could beat up your citizen." The No Child Left Behind act is a prime example of this. Instead of letting social Darwinism occur and weed out the morons from those with a spark of intellect, we're going to standardize the shit out of something (being, education) that should NEVER be standardized in order to have a higher percentage of American citizens who have completed some measly criteria. This gives the government something to praise itself for in public address, and in turn keep the fat, stupid sheep that is the average American in line and voting for a particular party.

Essentially, I lack the drive to give a fuck about what some suit thinks is appropriate learning for me based upon age group and test scores, and therefore could give a fuck about school in any of its forms, be it K-12 or the university system. This, obviously, makes me angry, and anger is rarely productive in a standardized format.

What I really want to do with my life is make music that is both personally fulfilling and appealing to a great deal of individuals, in the sense that they can gain some sort of inspiration, hope, happiness, or understanding from it. Art is the only honest ideal left in the world. Not to say that all art is honest; otherwise the major music labels (alongside the great satan that is Clear Channel) wouldn't be pumping the same diluted, money-making bullshit into our homes in over and over again in different packages. But art, art that inspires and in turn gives birth to new forms of inspiration, is that which is truly honest and pure. The "starving artist" who knows he'll probably never make it in the music industry yet continues to create his art because he knows it is GOOD (I'm talking about goodness here, not talent) has more soul and is more worthwhile than the individual who has only his degree to give him value to the world.

This has been a rather bleak blog, on the whole, and could easily continue I'm sure. But I need to go fulfill a goddamn requirement, as much as I hate it, so I'm going to leave you with a quote. If you don't know what it's from, look it up.

"We are the music makers, and We are the dreamers of dreams."