Addiction v1.0

I wrote this over the summer I believe. It's one of my favorite highly amusing rants of mine, so I though I'd post it. I wrote this one night after returning from Starbucks, where I'd purchased a Venti Cafe Mocha rather than a Grande Cafe Mocha like I usually do.


I don't know why I got a venti. I ALWAYS get a grande... grande is the
essence of perfection. Perfect amount of coffee, and aesthetically
perfect all at once... tall is stunted, unattractive, and not enough;
venti is hulking, unattractive, and too much. Grande is exactly the
size a cup of anything should be, save for beer; flawlessly
proportioned, beautiful in the way it conveys a sense of control on
the part of the drinker, and provides just the right amount... not
mediocre, or average, or plain, or anything of the sort, as some might
argue; Perfect. Controlled, powerful; but not in the sense of a
terrifying, abominable colossus who might annihilate the masses with
one swift blow, as with the venti; nor in the sense of a sneaky,
conniving, rat-like little being with a poisoned dagger, as with the
tall. Rather, it is powerful in the sense of the intelligent, wise,
philosophically- and socially-conscious warrior-poet, who knows to do
what is right and necessary, and not abuse the gifts given him. We can
all take a lesson from the grande.


So there you have it. Not only am I a coffee fiend, I'm an eccentric, higly literate coffee fiend. Sometimes I think I should be on meds.

Know who else should be on meds? Anne Coulter. Anne Coulter should be on anti-plagiarism and anti-bullshit-psycho-christian meds. I wonder what the generic brands would be for those?