3.31.2009
3.29.2009
3.27.2009
We All Have Our Little Problems
double entendre FTW
______________________
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned
But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Chorus:
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly hiher and higher
I can't abide standing outside the fire
______________________
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned
But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell bent on giving, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Chorus:
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly hiher and higher
I can't abide standing outside the fire
3.22.2009
I Sincerely Hope
That no one EVER lets me eat a burger (or anything else that size) at two in the morning ever again. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate this (beauty/beast) of a burger just as much as the next guy. Just... not at two in the morning.
I feel like CRAP right now.
I feel like CRAP right now.
3.21.2009
Sobriety is Overrated
Today was the first day of what was supposed to be 7 days of absolute sobriety for me. Understand, I did not choose do this out of concern for my current habits; I just do this every couple of months to... recharge, I suppose. Few things in life are more disappointing than burning yourself out on something you enjoy. Going a week or two or a month or whatever absolutely straight teaches you to better appreciate the fact that you have the freedom to get fucked up, should you so choose. One should never allow oneself to get to the point where one takes for granted one's freedoms.
So today was day 1. I had a glass of scotch before bed last night, then woke up this comfortable with the idea of 7 days of sobriety.
Then I went to work, and hosted our midnight release party for Twilight.
I absolutely loved the Twilight series. I started the first book with full confidence that I would hate it, but after the first few chapters... I was hooked. I read the first book in one night, read New Moon the next, then Eclipse the next after that, then waited for months in agonizing pain for Breaking Dawn to come out. I actually hosted our midnight release party for that as well, and had a total blast. I was less enthused for tonight's event, however; I still have not seen the film, and had next to no prep or planning time. We also had twice as many attendees as I had originally anticipated. But it went great, I had a good time, and there were no issues to speak of the whole night. Even still, halfway through this whole thing I could not help but think "Good God I cannot wait to go home and crack open that bottle of Macallan." And I realized that really, at this point in time, I have NO desire to go a week sober. I want to get home from work and drink some scotch. Maybe after I move into my new apartment and get all of my shit together, I will be in a better state of mind to go on a sobriety streak. But not right now.
Give thanks, ladies and gentlemen, for your ability to get wasted. There exist a great many substances on this planet that can make you unnaturally happy and help you forget, at least temporarily, the things that make you want to go play on the highway. Granted, there is a flipside to this; overdoing it with these very same substances that bring you such happiness can ultimately bring you far greater misery if you overdo them. But if one possesses both the willpower and, more importantly, the desire, to utilize these grand alchemical opportunities responsibly, one gains access to otherwise unattainable states of mind, as well as states of total release.
Or, more simply stated: Keep your shit together, and you can have a damn fine time.
Sobriety is overrated. Enjoy your poison responsibly. Let it take you somewhere new (or someplace comfortably familiar), but don't let it overtake you.
Here's to you.
So today was day 1. I had a glass of scotch before bed last night, then woke up this comfortable with the idea of 7 days of sobriety.
Then I went to work, and hosted our midnight release party for Twilight.
I absolutely loved the Twilight series. I started the first book with full confidence that I would hate it, but after the first few chapters... I was hooked. I read the first book in one night, read New Moon the next, then Eclipse the next after that, then waited for months in agonizing pain for Breaking Dawn to come out. I actually hosted our midnight release party for that as well, and had a total blast. I was less enthused for tonight's event, however; I still have not seen the film, and had next to no prep or planning time. We also had twice as many attendees as I had originally anticipated. But it went great, I had a good time, and there were no issues to speak of the whole night. Even still, halfway through this whole thing I could not help but think "Good God I cannot wait to go home and crack open that bottle of Macallan." And I realized that really, at this point in time, I have NO desire to go a week sober. I want to get home from work and drink some scotch. Maybe after I move into my new apartment and get all of my shit together, I will be in a better state of mind to go on a sobriety streak. But not right now.
Give thanks, ladies and gentlemen, for your ability to get wasted. There exist a great many substances on this planet that can make you unnaturally happy and help you forget, at least temporarily, the things that make you want to go play on the highway. Granted, there is a flipside to this; overdoing it with these very same substances that bring you such happiness can ultimately bring you far greater misery if you overdo them. But if one possesses both the willpower and, more importantly, the desire, to utilize these grand alchemical opportunities responsibly, one gains access to otherwise unattainable states of mind, as well as states of total release.
Or, more simply stated: Keep your shit together, and you can have a damn fine time.
Sobriety is overrated. Enjoy your poison responsibly. Let it take you somewhere new (or someplace comfortably familiar), but don't let it overtake you.
Here's to you.
3.19.2009
Allow Me to Explain to You How This Works
Whenever anything of any consequence is happening in my life, Murphy's Law shall surely prove true yet again. I'll lay out the most recent example:
Last week I applied for a new apartment. Several days later the management company (hereafter referred to as "apt people") informs me that they cannot process my application, due to my ID being expired. I had hoped they might overlook this fact, as has happened numerous times before, but no such luck. However, they said that if I was to bring in a receipt from the DMV for an ID application, that would suffice.
So the following morning I wake up at 7AM to spend half an hour on the bus to get to this terrible place when it opens, to ensure a minimal wait time. The plan was DMV, apt people, then work. HOWEVER, after spending half an hour in line, I am informed by one of the most condescending human beings I have ever encountered that they will not accept my expired military ID as proof of legal presence, despite my also having on my person my Social Security Card, as well as a credit card bill with my current address.
Obviously, this pissed me off.
I would have to bring in either my birth certificate or a passport. I have never had a passport, never had a driver's license or state ID, or any other form of identification other than my military ID. The reason I'd not gotten a new ID prior to this is that I RARELY had the $24 required to apply for an ID over the last... long time, and my mother lost my birth certificate. Over the last several months in particular she has alternately found and lost my birth certificate several times.
Once the blinding rage subsided, I hatched my plan. I called out of work for the night, then called my mother to inform her that I was getting on a train to go tear her house apart and find the damn thing myself.
It takes an hour to take the Blue Line from downtown Long Beach to the 7th Street/Metro Center, then about 5 minutes on the Red Line from 7th to Union Station, then two hours on the Antelope Valley Line from LA Union to Lancaster.
I was exceptionally relieved when I found my birth certificate with a minimum of effort. Successful in the first leg of my mission, I got up at four this morning to get back on the train at six heading down to Long Beach. Got back into Long Beach at around 9, got to the DMV around ten, out by ten fifty, then went to the apt people to take care of that whole deal.
Thankfully, several hours later I found out that my application was approved. I immediately went to the bank, then the management office to put down the deposit. HOWEVER, for me to sign the lease, they have to have a photocopy of a valid photo ID for "security purposes." Obviously, I don't have that. So we set the appointment for the 3rd of April to allow time for the DMV to mail me my card.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how my life goes.
Last week I applied for a new apartment. Several days later the management company (hereafter referred to as "apt people") informs me that they cannot process my application, due to my ID being expired. I had hoped they might overlook this fact, as has happened numerous times before, but no such luck. However, they said that if I was to bring in a receipt from the DMV for an ID application, that would suffice.
So the following morning I wake up at 7AM to spend half an hour on the bus to get to this terrible place when it opens, to ensure a minimal wait time. The plan was DMV, apt people, then work. HOWEVER, after spending half an hour in line, I am informed by one of the most condescending human beings I have ever encountered that they will not accept my expired military ID as proof of legal presence, despite my also having on my person my Social Security Card, as well as a credit card bill with my current address.
Obviously, this pissed me off.
I would have to bring in either my birth certificate or a passport. I have never had a passport, never had a driver's license or state ID, or any other form of identification other than my military ID. The reason I'd not gotten a new ID prior to this is that I RARELY had the $24 required to apply for an ID over the last... long time, and my mother lost my birth certificate. Over the last several months in particular she has alternately found and lost my birth certificate several times.
Once the blinding rage subsided, I hatched my plan. I called out of work for the night, then called my mother to inform her that I was getting on a train to go tear her house apart and find the damn thing myself.
It takes an hour to take the Blue Line from downtown Long Beach to the 7th Street/Metro Center, then about 5 minutes on the Red Line from 7th to Union Station, then two hours on the Antelope Valley Line from LA Union to Lancaster.
I was exceptionally relieved when I found my birth certificate with a minimum of effort. Successful in the first leg of my mission, I got up at four this morning to get back on the train at six heading down to Long Beach. Got back into Long Beach at around 9, got to the DMV around ten, out by ten fifty, then went to the apt people to take care of that whole deal.
Thankfully, several hours later I found out that my application was approved. I immediately went to the bank, then the management office to put down the deposit. HOWEVER, for me to sign the lease, they have to have a photocopy of a valid photo ID for "security purposes." Obviously, I don't have that. So we set the appointment for the 3rd of April to allow time for the DMV to mail me my card.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is how my life goes.
3.16.2009
Douchebaggery
I conceived this entry at about 4AM this morning, right after I went to bed, but was too cozy and inebriated to drag my ass out from under the covers and write it. What this means is that this entry will be significantly crappier than it might have been otherwise.
Very recently, I pissed off a very close friend of mine, who is currently not speaking to me as a result. He and I had been planning on getting an apartment together, because he wanted to move out of his dad's house and I'm still staying with friends post-breakup. Originally, we'd picked a date that we'd like to at least have an IDEA of where to live by, if not actually moving by that date. He had wanted to do it a tad earlier, but there was no way I was going to be able to swing it.
What wound up happening is that I unexpectedly came into a significant amount of money (by my standards, at least), and was therefore rendered able to move right then and there. I was stoked! I knew my friend already had the money, so I assumed that we'd jump right on this thing and get it done ASAP. This was not to be. I found a couple of places on Craigslist, then he came over so we could talk and look at some of them. Turns out he now wanted to push back our approximate moving date. Although he definitely had the money to make the move happen, he was unsure about some possible near-future expenses.
This set off some alarm bells for me. I mean, I'm not ACTUALLY living where I'm staying. I'm here by the grace of some exceptionally generous friends, and I'd told them when I moved in that I'd be out by the beginning of April. I NEED to move, and I need to move quick. My friend, on the other hand, lives with his father, and has no such deadline. He has a home, I do not.
After he left that night I jumped right back on Craigslist to look for studios/singles/something cheap I could handle myself. I found one that seemed absolutely perfect, and the next day went straight over to check it out. The following day, I turned in the application, and informed my friend, who was LIVID. Not a happy camper, by any means.
I can definitely understand his perspective. I bailed on him, with no warning. Kind of a dick move. But you know what it comes down to? He has a home, I do not.
Sometimes, you have to do things that are less than pleasant to achieve a desired and/or necessary end. You have to be ruthless. Cold. Unflinching. And it's hard. But that's life, kids. If you don't look out for your best interests, there's a definite possibility that no one else will. Then you're just... stuck. Fucked. Up shit creek, with only your hands for paddles.
Life comes at you with situations that demand an aggressive approach. And you might not be used to acting aggressively. But when these things happen, you've just gotta pull your balls out, lay them on the table, look life dead and the eye, and say "You see these? These are my balls. Get the fuck out of my way, before I bludgeon you to death with them." (For additional vulgar humor on the topic, see entry titled "Because Flaccid Confidence Just Doesn't Cut It," dated 3.12.09)
I'm sorry I was kind of a dick to my friend. Sometime's I'm a dick on accident, sometimes on purpose, but sometimes it's just because I HAVE to be.
We'll see how this goes.
Very recently, I pissed off a very close friend of mine, who is currently not speaking to me as a result. He and I had been planning on getting an apartment together, because he wanted to move out of his dad's house and I'm still staying with friends post-breakup. Originally, we'd picked a date that we'd like to at least have an IDEA of where to live by, if not actually moving by that date. He had wanted to do it a tad earlier, but there was no way I was going to be able to swing it.
What wound up happening is that I unexpectedly came into a significant amount of money (by my standards, at least), and was therefore rendered able to move right then and there. I was stoked! I knew my friend already had the money, so I assumed that we'd jump right on this thing and get it done ASAP. This was not to be. I found a couple of places on Craigslist, then he came over so we could talk and look at some of them. Turns out he now wanted to push back our approximate moving date. Although he definitely had the money to make the move happen, he was unsure about some possible near-future expenses.
This set off some alarm bells for me. I mean, I'm not ACTUALLY living where I'm staying. I'm here by the grace of some exceptionally generous friends, and I'd told them when I moved in that I'd be out by the beginning of April. I NEED to move, and I need to move quick. My friend, on the other hand, lives with his father, and has no such deadline. He has a home, I do not.
After he left that night I jumped right back on Craigslist to look for studios/singles/something cheap I could handle myself. I found one that seemed absolutely perfect, and the next day went straight over to check it out. The following day, I turned in the application, and informed my friend, who was LIVID. Not a happy camper, by any means.
I can definitely understand his perspective. I bailed on him, with no warning. Kind of a dick move. But you know what it comes down to? He has a home, I do not.
Sometimes, you have to do things that are less than pleasant to achieve a desired and/or necessary end. You have to be ruthless. Cold. Unflinching. And it's hard. But that's life, kids. If you don't look out for your best interests, there's a definite possibility that no one else will. Then you're just... stuck. Fucked. Up shit creek, with only your hands for paddles.
Life comes at you with situations that demand an aggressive approach. And you might not be used to acting aggressively. But when these things happen, you've just gotta pull your balls out, lay them on the table, look life dead and the eye, and say "You see these? These are my balls. Get the fuck out of my way, before I bludgeon you to death with them." (For additional vulgar humor on the topic, see entry titled "Because Flaccid Confidence Just Doesn't Cut It," dated 3.12.09)
I'm sorry I was kind of a dick to my friend. Sometime's I'm a dick on accident, sometimes on purpose, but sometimes it's just because I HAVE to be.
We'll see how this goes.
3.13.2009
I'm So Classy
Eden:
He's pretty much doing what you're trying to do (referring to Jonathan Coulton)
Eden:
You know?
Me:
essentially
Me:
except i have random dick humor in my blog
He's pretty much doing what you're trying to do (referring to Jonathan Coulton)
Eden:
You know?
Me:
essentially
Me:
except i have random dick humor in my blog
3.12.2009
Alternative Medicine Quick Tip #278*
Constipated? Try smoking a cigarette. Better yet, grab a book, an ashtray, and a fresh pack, and set up camp on the can. For quicker results, add a pot of coffee into the mix.
*brought to you by a conversation between myself and a roommate
*brought to you by a conversation between myself and a roommate
Conversations of Note
Eden:
have you read fuck my life today?
Me:
haha earlier yeah
Eden:
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
Me:
hahaha yeah
who the fuck includes "paper mustache-just for fun" in their morning routine?
Eden:
someone who knows how to LIVE Cinnamon
someone who knows how to live.
Me:
HA!
indeed
Also, there was a conversation in which we discussed one of my usual phrases spreading to other people, and I said something like "I'm like that, in a non-herpetic kind of way." This was followed by a celebration of the birth of the word "herpetic".
have you read fuck my life today?
Me:
haha earlier yeah
Eden:
Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML
Me:
hahaha yeah
who the fuck includes "paper mustache-just for fun" in their morning routine?
Eden:
someone who knows how to LIVE Cinnamon
someone who knows how to live.
Me:
HA!
indeed
Also, there was a conversation in which we discussed one of my usual phrases spreading to other people, and I said something like "I'm like that, in a non-herpetic kind of way." This was followed by a celebration of the birth of the word "herpetic".
CNN is a Veritable Cornucopia of Inspiration Today
This is a very sad story. This poor girl is all of 13 years old, whole life ahead of her, then some douchebag who should have been in prison anyway tries to rape her, prior to beating and stabbing her to death.
In the northwest corner of the article is the obligatory picture of the victim. Direct quote from the photo's caption:
"Alycia Nipp, 13, was a free spirit, her aunt says, and liked to collect neon drinking straws."
Reeeeeeeeeally? That's how we're immortalizing this young girl? Let it be known forever, throughout all the lands of the internet, that Alycia Nipp had a neon straw collection. She shall be remembered always as the girl who dug straws.
SURELY at some point in the interviews with her family members they mentioned at least a few other things that might be more significant, in terms of identity, that the distinguished member of the press could have used to honor the deceased instead. I mean, did her neon straw collection define her as a human being? Could one say that Alycia Nipp was DEFINED by her straw collection?
I certainly hope not. Sure, everybody loves quirky collections and odd personality traits, but this is an article on the home page of cnn.com about the brutal slaying of a young girl. Do you have any idea how many people are going to see this article?
Show some class, dude.
In the northwest corner of the article is the obligatory picture of the victim. Direct quote from the photo's caption:
"Alycia Nipp, 13, was a free spirit, her aunt says, and liked to collect neon drinking straws."
Reeeeeeeeeally? That's how we're immortalizing this young girl? Let it be known forever, throughout all the lands of the internet, that Alycia Nipp had a neon straw collection. She shall be remembered always as the girl who dug straws.
SURELY at some point in the interviews with her family members they mentioned at least a few other things that might be more significant, in terms of identity, that the distinguished member of the press could have used to honor the deceased instead. I mean, did her neon straw collection define her as a human being? Could one say that Alycia Nipp was DEFINED by her straw collection?
I certainly hope not. Sure, everybody loves quirky collections and odd personality traits, but this is an article on the home page of cnn.com about the brutal slaying of a young girl. Do you have any idea how many people are going to see this article?
Show some class, dude.
Love is a Many-Splendored Thing
Chris Brown and Rihanna "...completed a duet earlier this week." (CNN Article) Talk about a labor of love, hmm?
Hard to imagine recording some sweet little ditty about love and devotion alongside someone who did this to your face.
It must be true-you
Always hurt the one you love.
Oh shit, you're bleeding
Cory
Hard to imagine recording some sweet little ditty about love and devotion alongside someone who did this to your face.
It must be true-you
Always hurt the one you love.
Oh shit, you're bleeding
Cory
3.11.2009
3.10.2009
3.09.2009
"Oh, but I love that old school Mariah Carey sound."
I just said that. Seriously. And I meant it too.
WTF?
WTF?
3.04.2009
Exit Music
Wake... from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today.. we escape
We escape.
Pack and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before.. all hell.. breaks loose.
Breathe... keep breathing
Don't lose.. your nerve.
Breathe... keep breathing
I can't do this.. alone.
Sing us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill
Such a CHILL.
You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one
In everlasting peace
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
The drying of your tears
Today.. we escape
We escape.
Pack and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before.. all hell.. breaks loose.
Breathe... keep breathing
Don't lose.. your nerve.
Breathe... keep breathing
I can't do this.. alone.
Sing us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill
Such a CHILL.
You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one
In everlasting peace
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
We hope that you choke.. that you choke
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