It just never came up!

I've realized that I have no idea how to talk to women. I don't mean in a casual, conversational situation or whatnot; a significant percentage of my closest friends have always been women, I grew up with living with my mother and my sister, etc. I'm perfectly comfortable with women in almost every situation I can think of, more so than the majority of men my age. But it's that one scenario, that introduction, that gets me. If I have no interest in the woman romantically, I have no problem striking up a conversation if it's a socially appropriate scenario. If I do wind up in conversation with a woman I AM interested, that's cool too. No problems, no worries, just see where it goes. BUT

If I'm out, or at work, or whatever, and I see a beautiful woman who also could be very interesting, I have no idea how to start up a conversation that does not sound like a cheeseball sitcom scenario. I know all the opening lines, but I can't bear to say them. Because they always sound too contrived in my head. When I think of approaching an attractive, interesting woman and asking where she's from or something similar, I hear Ryan Reynolds delivering the lines. And that's not good.

The problem is that I've never had to do that. I know that sounds egotistical, but it's not. It's not that I've always had women falling all over me; it's because I've gone from one long-term relationship to another over the last six years. I've had three serious relationships over the last six years, and they were all pretty much back-to-back. Granted, this last one and I broke up a grand total of three times, but the first two I wasn't interested in pursuing other women at all, I just wanted to die. I did get involved with someone the second time, but that was a totally retarded scenario (because I'm an idiot) and I don't want to talk about it. ANYWAY

Those three relationships also didn't start with a random meeting. They started because of a common prolonged scenario- school, school, and work, respectively. They just kind of happened after a while. But APPARENTLY some people actually approach strangers with the intent of getting involved with them in some way. And I'm finally understanding the need or the desire to do that; I just don't understand the execution quite yet. This, clearly, is irritating.*

So... I feel kind of behind the curve.

Another issue with these types of scenarios is jail. Essentially, if you are a 21 year old male in the year 2009, can be difficult for you to accurately judge the correct age of a girl anywhere between 16 and 22. Because, to the great dismay of many a parent, girls are maturing much younger nowadays. And they do their best to appear to be over 18. This, friends, is a problem. A girl could be 22, but look 16... so you don't go for it. Or a girl could be 16 and look 21... then daddy kills you. But you can't really introduce yourself and be like, "Can I see some ID?"

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH





*Also, I've had this obnoxious ringing in my left ear all day, and that is quite irritating. If I wake up dead tomorrow I'm gonna be pissed.